No Comments » February 17th, 2012 posted by // Categories: General Articles

I bet you wonder at the heading here – ‘Uppercrustism.’ Probably you did a double take – Uppercrustism? Gosh, ‘wazdat’ in the name of the Queen of England?

You may think you’ve just come across a stretchy unit of (perhaps) jaw-breaking balderdash but I assure you, you actually know what Uppercrustism means.

I concede however that you may not know that you know that you do not know that you know! Ha, ha ha!

Uppercrustism, oh yes, that’s what we are talking about here. Not ‘Uppercutism.’ That’s another word for another day. Well let’s get down to the business of unraveling the meaning of the sensation – Uppercrustism; though I seriously doubt whether its meaning needs any special perspicacity for appreciation.

The reason is obvious – you see, Uppercrustism is clearly everywhere. Everywhere, as in, everywhere. It is a socio-political principle of life. A rigid, narrow position that does not submit to the populism or egalitarianism of say perhaps Jeremy Bentham or the idealism of Democracy.

The Christ, the true coin from Bethlehem said He came to give life and life more abundantly – apparently to anybody who cared to come to him.

The Uppercrustist however says, “I have come to give the good life, to only a few (those in my class) and the good life more abundantly to only a few (those in my class).

Analysts often say the chiefest problem of this country is corruption, but a more deadly poison ravaging the country’s system is ‘Uppercrustism.’

As a political philosophy, Uppercrustism does not believe that it is good, necessary or worth the while of those charged or self charged with the community administration to look out for the good of the majority of the people.

As far as the Uppercrustist is concerned, there are only two classes in the society, the SUCKED and the SUCKER. The sucked are the vast majority and they live only for the comfort of the suckers.

The sweat of the sucked, their tax, their labour and indeed their very blood is taken from them and converted to royal nectar to feed the fat cat class of suckers.

The SUCKED never control the levers and powers of community governance. They are literally the scum of the earth – the artisans, the petty traders, the shopkeepers, the low level civil servants; perpetually sentenced to living out their lives from hand to mouth.

Government always belongs to the SUCKERS. They are the ones that the Prophet Samuel of the Holy Bible had in mind when he said, “Your king would take the best of your estate, your wives, your oil, your daughters would be his concubines and your sons would be his servants and soldiers.”

The Uppercrustists are not without the milk of human kindness, nor are they strangers to providing benefits. But their kindness is not the Managing Director of MUNIFICENCE UNLIMITED  or the Chief Executive Officer of BENTHAM INCORPORATED.

The Uppercrustists distribute the commonwealth, to only the uncommon people:- members of their class; they take care of their ilk, splendidly, very marvelously. 

To prove this point, I only need cite one example. Nothing farfetched or brought forth from a distant far. Last week Thursday, the Lagos State Governor came to a certain road in Ikoyi, Lagos called Bourdillon Avenue. It was not a pleasure trip for H.E.  He came to present five newly completed houses to the Lagos State Judiciary.

The houses were smart, sweet, grand, and cute, almost to the point of classical exoticness or exotic classicalism. If a poor man, a permanent member of the holloi polloi club of all round poverty achieves the Rapture of the Bible and lands in any of the Ikoyi houses, Heaven will forgive him should he mistake the houses as a portion of the much awaited PARADISE! Walahi! And if he was told he was still very much on the planet earth, then he would simply apply to be allowed a stay-put; there is no point seeking for any other paradise!

Each of those houses, were it to be sold, would fetch no less than two hundred million naira. I said the houses were built by the Lagos State Government and handed over to the State Judiciary. Now who do you think the Judiciary would hand over the houses to?

Your guess is as good as mine. You know such paradise copies will not go to court registrars, court clerks, registry officials, typists, secretaries, drivers, sheriffs, etc. Who as they say, “dash monkey banana?”

The recipients are judges. As far as I know Lagos State High Court judges number only about 55 while the other category of workers of the High Court are as I learnt, over a thousand.

On each of the 55 judges, even including retired ones, the Government sees nothing wrong in spending hundreds of millions of naira by providing “befitting salaries,” “befitting modes of transport,” “befitting houses,” “befitting wardrobe allowances,” “befitting medical expenses,” which in truth means that the Government maintains the judges in very comfortable circumstances of life.

The question we need to ask ourselves is – why should people holding political, legislative and judicial posts earn salaries and remunerations like spoilt princes and live life like potentates? Why should working for Government in a country of mass poverty, mass unemployment, mass illiteracy, etc., now become an avenue for a life of luxurious comfortability?

Why is nobody thinking of putting aside a sum like five hundred million naira specially and specifically for the junior workers of the Judiciary?

During the famous 9 day strike in January 2012, against the removal of fuel subsidy, a protester bore a protest message which read thus: “one day, the poor will have nothing left to eat but the rich.”

That message was no joke. Very real. Let Uppercrustists beware and start a meaningful and transparent spread of the commonwealth to all and sundry. To avoid a terrible back-lash in the near future.

“A word is enough for the wise.”

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